


Sunrise Cafe

by krispy_kream



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Historical, Barista Kim Jongdae | Chen, Coffee Shops, Flirting, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:35:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26832280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krispy_kream/pseuds/krispy_kream
Summary: Jongdae considers himself a shepherd for lonely hearts, a defender of romance. But for him, love is always just out of reach.For EXOpress round 2, prompt 095.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Kim Jongdae | Chen, Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 9
Kudos: 56





	Sunrise Cafe

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends, please wrap this story around you like a big, comfy sweater on a cold winter morning.
> 
> Originally wrote this for Timeline EXOpress and, while I missed the deadline by a mile and a half, I loved this prompt too much to let it go. OP asked for 1920’s era homophobia, but homophobia didn’t get really _dangerous_ until the 40’s when being gay (considered a mental illness at the time) was linked to increased likelihood of being communist. Yeah, I know, but anyway this takes place in the 40’s I guess.
> 
> So trigger warnings for 2 incidents of outward homophobia, references to 2 other incidents, and then rest is just shameless gay fluff. Also I’m so sorry Junmyeon...

Nestled snugly between an enamel factory and a textile workshop sits an unassuming coffee shop. It’s not a busy thoroughfare nor is this street bustling with commerce, but there the shop sits, diligently serving the factory workers and anyone else who hears about it from friends. 

Minseok is one such person. He’s not much for coffee but a friend had insisted, with a grin and a wink, that he seek it out. And so here he is, on an unassuming Thursday afternoon after taking the morning off to run some errands. He’ll have a cup and then head back to work and maybe he’ll get Tao off his back at last. 

It looks like any other shop inside, decorated in tan and white and blue over brick and mortar walls. The words “greet the sunrise with a smile” are painted on the wall behind the counter and when the barista looks up to see him, Minseok feels like it’s the sunrise that’s greeting him, so bright is his smile. 

“Welcome,” the barista says. “First time?”

Minseok is still looking around, at the clocks and the curtains and the quaint little tables each with a single flower on display at the center. He glances up at the menu board which is divided in two; one part no-nonsense coffee, the other fancy sounding concoctions, all fairly cheap. 

“Yes…” Minseok says. He places his hands on the counter just to give them something to do. “I’m not really much of a coffee drinker, but I’m told I had come try the, what was it, the Sunrise Surprise?” 

The barista smiles so wide like Minseok has just made his day and the corners of his mouth curl up like he’s got something up his sleeve. 

“Your friend has excellent taste,” he says. “I’m glad you decided to give us a try, I’ll give you this one on the house.”

“Really?”

“Only if you promise to come back again because you’ll love it so much.”

“You drive a hard bargain,” Minseok laughs. 

The barista grins at him again. “Take a seat, it’ll be right out.”

There’s a large, clear window by the entrance with a wooden sign hanging down from the top and a nice view of the block outside. Minseok takes a seat there while he ponders whether or not he’s being flirted with. It’d be a welcome surprise to someone like him in a city like this. He would come back for the service alone, perhaps he’ll become a coffee drinker yet. He looks back up at the menu to see what else he can try.

The Sunrise Surprise isn’t listed anywhere on it. 

What is this drink? It could be anything, like a cappuccino flavored with tabasco. Tao had called it the best drink on the menu, but he wouldn’t tell him more than that. “Trust me, just trust me,” is all he would say. He knows Minseok hates coffee, so there must be something about it.

The telltale sound of milk being steamed echoes through the shop just like it does at any other place and after that it’s only a moment before the barista comes around the counter, tray in hand. He places the drink down in a small, plain white mug, the foam arranged in a squiggle that resembles a murky sunset. Then he places a small saucer beside it with a miniature biscotti and a black and gold enamel pin. The pin is elegant, depicting a golden sunrise with rays shooting forth like the aura of saints that glow on chapel windows. He doesn’t understand why it comes with a free drink.

When he glances up, the barista is smiling expectantly at him. 

“Go ahead,” he says. “I want to know what you think.”

That makes it sound even more like a trap, but Minseok obliges, hesitantly bringing the mug to his lips and taking the smallest sip he can manage. 

It’s sweet and only sweet. 

“This isn’t coffee?” he asks immediately. 

The barista laughs, loud and easy like a Saturday morning. 

“Of course not, you said you don’t like coffee,” he tells him like it’s obvious. “It’s just glorified hot chocolate. Here, let me get your receipt.”

“Oh, but I didn’t—” he didn’t even pay for a drink, what does he need a receipt for?

But the barista is already pulling a black receipt book from his apron. He jots down something at the bottom of the page, then pulls the paper from the book and slides it across the table so that it’s right in front of Minseok. He smiles, soft and _knowing_ somehow, and heads back to the counter without another word. 

It’s printed on receipt paper, but it is definitely not a receipt. It looks more like a letter.

Welcome to the Sunrise Cafe

Here you can rest easy knowing you are among friends. 

Our valued guests are marked by this pin. 

Display it proudly if you’d like to be approached, wear it discreetly if you are spoken for.

This pin grants you access to the special brunch menu.

Our brunch offers comfort, solace, and privacy for those who otherwise cannot meet. 

Here you can pursue your happiness without fear of judgement. 

We hope you can greet the sunrise with a smile that is from your true heart. 

— _Jongdae_

\---

A tall man with delicate features comes into the shop on Friday evening dressed in a smart looking blazer and laden with a heavily packed canvas bag. He fiddles with his coat lapel as he walks up to Jongdae at the counter, showing him a brief flash of black and gold. 

“I’d like to order brunch,” the man says in a soft, accented voice. 

Jongdae smiles. Fridays are always busy brunch days. 

“Excellent,” Jongdae says as he reaches under the counter for the miniature clipboard they keep the brunch menu on. “Here’s what’s available today.”

The man looks over the list of rooms on the menu for a moment before silently pointing at the listing for Jongdae’s kitchen. Jongdae nods and crosses it off the list with a pencil. 

The bell at the door rings and another man saunters in, youthful and energetic, unfamiliar. He heads straight for the man ordering brunch with a grin that’s for him alone.

“Yixing,” he greets, looking up at the man with the spark of anticipation in his eye. “Ready to sweep me off my feet?”

Yixing’s already soft features melt into a smile for the man. It’s alarmingly incriminating, the way they gravitate towards each other, the way they look at each other.

“Irene will show you up,” Jongdae says before they can accidentally do anything questionable; their evening patrons may be mostly like minded, but the shop’s windows are large and the street outside is not as kind. He knocks on the storeroom door and calls back, “Irene, brunch order.”

She’s there in a moment. Irene walks briskly, untouchably elegant as always, glancing at the clipboard as she passes behind the counter then up at Yixing and his date. 

“This way, gentlemen.”

The two follow her into the other door beside the counter that leads up to their apartments above the building. 

The bell rings again. A short, stocky man comes in, his brow heavy and his expression pointedly blank. Jongdae smiles.

“Evening, Kyungsoo,” he says. “Here for brunch?”

“We’ll see,” Kyungsoo answers, shrugging his coat off as he walks up to the counter. “I need an espresso first.”

“I’ll get that started,” Jongdae laughs. 

Kyungsoo waits at the counter like he always does, staring up at the menu until Jongdae is nearly finished with his drink. 

“And a spice latte for Chanyeol,” he finally says. 

“Good choice,” Jongdae chuckles. 

“Kyungsoo,” Irene greets him when she comes back into the shop, her face lighting up immediately. “Good to see you.”

“Irene,” is his only reply, but his expression has been softening bit by bit like it always does when he comes in. 

That’s all they say because that’s all it takes with Kyungsoo sometimes. He’s a shy one, but he’s been coming to the store long enough that they’ve both seen the charm he keeps hidden beneath his defenses. 

“Jongdae,” Irene says quietly with a hand on his shoulder. “I have Junmyeon coming tomorrow for a meeting. Just so you’re prepared.”

“Ah,” is all Jongdae can really say, his hands faltering as he brews Chanyeol’s drink. He hates that the news makes his chest churn with something dark and ugly. He shouldn’t have to dread seeing Junmyeon but perhaps it’s impossible not to fear someone you keep secrets from. 

“Okay,” he forces out. 

Irene pats his shoulder consolingly and turns back to Kyungsoo. 

\---

Sehun is the sort of regular who stands at the counter as he drinks his coffee so he can check out every person who comes in without trying too hard. He calls it “making himself available.” Jongdae calls it “being a snarky brat.”

“Okay, but who wears socks that high anymore, it’s 1942, not 1924.” Sehun mutters as he eyes an older gentleman on his way out.

“You know we welcome all kinds here,” Jongdae reminds him with a knowing smile.

Sehun opens his mouth to complain just as the door behind the counter swings open.

“At least let me introduce you to some suppliers,” Junmyeon is saying as he and Irene finally emerge from the office in the storeroom. “If you go through me I can get you a good deal.” He’s buttoning up his pristine blue suit jacket, his fingers moving deftly with the familiar motion, closing the coat around his well built chest once more. A single stray strand of his carefully coiffed hair is draped over his forehead, the wear of the day only just starting to show. 

So handsome.

“We already have a good rapport with our coffee guys, how many times am I going to tell you this,” Irene says with a sigh, but there’s no bite to it. They’ve been having this conversation for years, they both know every argument on every side. It’s just second nature to them now. 

“If I change the beans, our regulars will notice.”

“I can vouch for my contacts, it’s quality stuff. Maybe your patrons will like it, not all change is bad Irene.”

“I’ve changed enough in my life, that time has passed,” Irene says in a low voice, the finality reaching even Junmyeon. 

He sighs. He knows when he’s found a land mine, no matter how he feels about the argument. He puts his smile back in place and turns to Jongdae. 

“And how are things on the frontline, Jongdae?” he asks, propping his hip against the counter. Jongdae hates how such a simple change in posture can make him look ten times sexier. 

“Things are great out here,” he says with a wide smile despite how his heart pounds somewhere near his throat. “Just the other day I got a new favorite regular.”

Junmyeon chuckles, his smile softening to show Jongdae his cute little dimple.

“You have a new favorite every time I see you,” he says, shaking his head. 

“They’re good regulars, Junmyeon,” Jongdae insists. He leans over the counter on his elbows to grin up at Junmyeon. “Shouldn’t you be pleased that business is booming?”

Junmyeon humors the flirting because he has no idea that’s what it is. Jongdae knows, he’s tested it enough. (It’s worth not being taken seriously to see Junmyeon smile at him like this.)

“I’d be more pleased if your profit margin was higher,” Junmyeon tells him with a pointed glance at Irene who ignores them in favor of checking on Sehun’s drink. 

Jongdae laughs big and loud. “That’s a losing battle and you know it.”

“Passion projects are all well and good, but I worry about you both,” he says, tipping in closer to speak softly to Jongdae. It does terrible things to Jongdae’s heart. “You don’t have a large enough financial cushion for the unexpected. What happens when one of you gets hurt?”

_Too late_ , Jongdae thinks to himself. He puts on a reassuring smile instead. 

“Nothing happens in this neighborhood, Junmyeon, we’ll be okay.”

Junmyeon sighs like he doesn’t believe it, but also like he knows how stubborn Jongdae and Irene are about this. They would have listened to him before, back when they were all still students, but the coffee shop is a wall that Junmyeon just can’t break through and he knows it. 

It’s not his fault. Jongdae wishes he could tell him that, but that would reveal too much. They trust him, but not with this. 

Junmyeon glances down at his gold watch and finally stands upright once more. 

“I have to get back,” he says, slipping into work mode. “I promise I’ll come in for coffee next time, I don’t see you enough Jongdae.”

The statement makes Jongdae’s stomach turn and his heart sing at once. Oh how he wants to read more into it even when he knows better. 

“I’ll hold you to that,” Jongdae says with a smile even as the conflict swirls in his chest. 

“And spare at least _one_ thought to what I said, Irene,” Junmyeon calls as he heads for the door. 

Irene tilts her head like she’s thinking for just a moment, then straightens and says, “Done.”

Junmyeon laughs. He waves once and then he’s gone, back out onto the street and into his fancy car. Jongdae and Irene watch him until he’s out of sight.

Even Sehun turns to watch him leave and when the sound of the engine fades the line of his shoulder visibly relaxes. Jongdae can feel the tension in his own spine, but it will still be some time before he’ll uncoil from the encounter. 

Irene blows out a long breath with her hands on her hips. Then she digs under the counter where Jongdae is standing. 

“Outta the way, I have to fix the real books now,” she mutters as she pulls the ledger from its hiding place. 

“You live to manage the store another day,” Jongdae laughs. 

“If he knew the shit profits we make on coffee, he’d have my head.”

Sehun just snorts a laugh into his drink. All the regulars know it’s their brunch service that keeps the store afloat. Junmyeon is probably the only person who doesn’t. 

The bell at the door rings and Jongdae looks up to see Minseok strolling into the shop. 

“Well, speak of the devil,” Jongdae says as the grin spreads across his face. 

Sehun eyes him, looking Minseok up and down with his standard judgemental eye before glancing back at Jongdae. 

“This is your new favorite regular?” he asks, his brow high. 

“No need to feel jealous, Sehun,” Jongdae assures him with a smirk. “You were never my favorite.”

Sehun scoffs and turns back to his drink while Minseok glances back and forth between them with wide eyes. 

“Did I miss something?” he asks. 

“I was just telling our friendly neighborhood banker about you,” Jongdae explains with a laugh.

“Friendly neighborhood _something_ ,” Sehun mutters, a wry smirk tugging up his lips.

“Sehun,” Jongdae warns, “you know Junmyeon doesn’t come here for brunch.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t window shop,” he says. 

“It’s not like you don’t wish he would pin you to the counter and call you a good boy,” Irene adds with a smirk of her own. 

“Irene!” Jongdae sputters. “He’s getting married! Don’t make me out to be some kind of degenerate in front of Minseok, I’m trying to be his favorite barista.”

Minseok still appears completely confused. But he looks at Jongdae and says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “You _are_ my favorite barista.”

Jongdae gasps as if it’s some grand confession, his hands over his heart like he might swoon.

“Irene, he likes me,” he says in his best stage whisper.

“Everyone likes you, Jongdae,” she tells him instead of taking the bait. 

“I don’t like you anymore,” Sehun offers.

Jongdae pouts and swats at Sehun for his insolence. 

“Ungrateful brat,” he mutters. 

Minseok laughs. It’s as darling a ring as it always is, a healing sound. The tension uncoils from Jongdae’s spine with ease. 

\---

The youthful man from the other day comes into the shop. He glances around the room, looking not at the decor but at the other patrons. When he doesn’t find who he’s looking for he looks at Jongdae. 

His eyes are large, striking. He’s not the flirty boy that came in the other day, at least not in this moment. 

Jongdae smiles for him like he does for everyone else.

“Fancy seeing you again,” he says as the man approaches the counter. “Here to see, what was that gentleman’s name, Xing something…?”

The man seems to relax at this, his mouth tilting up in a crooked smile. 

“Yixing?” he asks, then shakes his head. “He just wanted to wine and dine me, I’m waiting for someone else today.”

Jongdae eyes him. The man looks young, though perhaps not younger than Jongdae himself, and his youthful energy doesn’t paint a patient picture.

“You don’t strike me as the type for wining and dining,” Jongdae admits. 

“I’m not,” the man tells him with a shrug, “but it’s alright once in a while.”

Jongdae would smile for him, but he’s already glancing back at the door. No, he doesn’t paint a patient picture at all. 

“… Would you like something while you wait?”

The man’s head whips around so fast it’s like he’s been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He makes himself relax and flashes a reassuring smile at Jongdae.

“Nah, I’m not that early.”

He meanders away from the counter and towards a small table set for two close by. He doesn’t sit, just sort of fiddles with the back of the chair, running his fingers along the wood as he kicks his foot lightly. Then the bell at the door rings and he looks up, the smile spreading across his face bright enough to outshine the sun. 

Jongdae chuckles to himself. Perhaps he just has no need for patience.

\---

The afternoon is slow enough for now that Jongdae can indulge in sitting with Minseok at his usual counter-side table as they muse together about life. He likes Minseok a great deal; likes talking with him, likes seeing him switch between his shy habits and his flirty teasing, likes encouraging him to open up and be himself. It’s people like Minseok that make the coffee front of their shop worth the effort. 

“Is it just you and Irene working here?” Minseok asks him, both of his hands wrapped around his mug so that the tips of his fingers weave together. 

“It sure is,” Jongdae says. “We could maybe afford a part timer, but that’d be a risky interview process.”

Minseok hums. “I guess you can’t just ask every person who applies if they order brunch. Unless you hired a regular?”

“I don’t think any of our clientele needs a job,” Jongdae laughs. “We do alright without, I think. No days off, sure, but it’s nothing we can’t handle.”

“Irene does seem very focused.”

“This place is her life, she doesn’t really want anything else,” Jongdae explains. 

Minseok seems perplexed by this, tilting his head and his frown in thought. He taps his fingers around his mug like he’s measuring his words before he says them. 

“Do you ever get lonely?” he finally asks. 

“Hm.” 

Jongdae pauses a moment to think about that. He thinks about the sleepless nights when his tiny bedroom feels too large and empty, thinks of the mornings when routine is the only thing that drags him out of bed. He thinks about his regulars, watching them head home, hoping they’ll be safe, already longing for their next visit. He thinks of Irene sometimes staring blankly at nothing, mind and heart lost in another time before she remembers where she is and who she has. 

Then his mind returns to the present, sitting with Minseok in the shop he built, serving a purpose and wanting for nothing. 

“I’m content making sure no one else has to be lonely,” he finally says. It doesn’t feel like a lie, not in this light. 

Minseok takes a moment to consider that answer, raising his mug to his lips and looking into the slowly fading foam. He doesn’t drink, only thinks to himself, the relative silence stretching comfortably between them. 

“If you’re sure.”

Jongdae smiles at him. 

“Thank you,” he says simply. When Minseok tilts his head at him he chuckles softly and adds, “I’m not lonely right now.”

Minseok quickly turns back to the foam of his latte, helpless against a small smile that tugs up his lips. It’s soft, flattered. It’s cute. 

The door opens and Chanyeol comes in like a whirlwind. He’s always bursting into places as if his energy cannot be contained and overflows into the world around him. It’s infectious and all encompassing; Jongdae’s chest always feels lighter when he sees him and he doesn’t know anyone who can resist a smile after speaking to him even just once. 

It’s probably why Kyungsoo likes him so much. 

“Jongdae!” Chanyeol calls as he crosses the room. He looks out of breath and disheveled, as if he ran all the way across town to get here. “I did it, closed just this afternoon.”

“You made the sale?” Jongdae asks, standing as Chanyeol strides up to their table. 

Chanyeol nods, shedding his coat and letting it flop onto the back of an empty chair. “A mainstreet complex, all by myself. I’m a full fledged member of the board now.” Then, without missing a beat he turns to Minseok and holds out his hand. “Chanyeol, by the way, of Park Holdings.”

Minseok takes his hand to shake, looking a little dazzled. “Park Holdings,” he repeats. “Oh, I think they handled the lease for our office.”

“Did we? Fantastic.”

“This is Minseok,” Jongdae says. “He started coming here recently, newest member of the Sunrise family, you could say.”

“Oh! Welcome, welcome,” Chanyeol says, settling into his seat with a slouch that puts him eyelevel with them. “You won’t find a better man than Jongdae, I can guarantee you that.”

Jongdae rolls his eyes.

“So you’re an official board member now, huh?” he says rather than answer the compliment. 

“Yeah! That damn COO can’t say shit anymore,” Chanyeol says with a triumphant grin taking up his whole face. “My numbers have been the best in the company for a solid year now, I don’t know what stick he had up his ass just because my father owns the company.”

Minseok only stares at them as they talk, a little wide eyed. 

“You were bred for this, I told you that you’d shut them up one by one,” Jongdae tells him, his chest warm and his smile wide. Chanyeol has been complaining about his company executives for ages so the news is truly gratifying. “We should celebrate! What will you have?”

“Oh! Well, maybe no espresso, I’m insufferable enough as it is right now,” Chanyeol says with a laugh that booms through the entire shop.

\---

His ‘wine and dine’ friend arrives ahead of his date again. He waves at Jongdae with a smirk and takes a seat near the door without ordering anything as usual. If it’s anything like their previous encounters, he won’t be there for long. 

Jongdae leaves him to it, turning back to his foam art and the shakey, misshapen outline he’s attempted. He’s using Minseok’s drink order to practice drawing bears with the foam, but it’s not going well. 

“That looks like a zombie hellhound,” Minseok tells him when he sets the drink down.

“It does not!”

“He’s _dripping_ , look at this,” he insists, pointing at where the lines have already started to dissolve. 

“I just need to draw with more confidence,” Jongdae reasons. “Order something else.”

“You are going to make me go broke.”

Jongdae laughs and they fall into easy chitchat. It's fun when Minseok comes around. He still only comes alone, which Jongdae thinks is such a waste, but he always has the pin displayed on his jacket, like his own little act of defiance, a first hesitant step into the whirlwind of being open. These things take time for some people. While others, Jongdae thinks wryly as he glances over at his wine and diner, take no time at all.

Wednesday nights are never very eventful on this side of town. There’s a handful of people who come by in the evenings just for a quick pick-me-up to get them home, but nothing much to occupy his time. Nothing other than Minseok and his friend by the door who’s staring out the window with his lip between his teeth, his leg bouncing nonstop, still waiting. 

“He’s been waiting an awfully long time,” Jongdae muses as he comes back to Minseok’s spot near the counter. (No one is ever going to approach him if he keeps sitting near Jongdae like this.)

Minseok turns to look, his eyes wide and curious. 

“You know who he’s waiting for?” he asks. 

Jongdae shakes his head. 

“Never seen him with the same guy twice.”

“Guess they can’t all be winners,” Minseok says with a hum. 

Jongdae hums back in agreement, but it just doesn’t sit right with him. It doesn’t seem right for this man to be alone, to be kept waiting, to be discarded. Jongdae can’t speak for this mysterious date he’s waiting for, but Jongdae would be lucky to snag a guy like that, so slim and fair, so energetic and personable. The longer he’s kept waiting the more Jongdae can see that energy going sour and turning to bitterness or, heaven forbid, self-loathing.

This shop wasn’t built to allow self-loathing. 

Jongdae heads back to the counter and starts up a drink. He sticks with an easy picture for the foam, just a simple heart, one of the few designs he’s good at. Then he sets the tray and heads towards the door. 

The man nearly jumps five feet in the air when Jongdae leans into his line of sight to set the mug down. He glances between the drink and Jongdae, flustered and flailing as he figures out what’s going on. 

“Oh, I didn't,” he starts to say but stops and stares as Jongdae places the biscotti and pin before him.

“You didn't have one yet,” he tells him. “You can't order off the brunch menu without it, you know.”

The man just keeps staring at the pin, his face a hard mask of indecision. He's been to the shop enough, been with enough patrons that Jongdae is reasonably confident he knows what the pin is for. He waits patiently as the man hesitates, slowly reaching for the pin and then holding it in his hand like he's not done deciding what to do with it. 

He chews on his lip, takes a breath through his nose, then hastily pins it to his coat right over his heart for all the world to see.

He grins up at Jongdae with all his teeth as if he'd never been waiting for anyone.

“I'm Baekhyun,” he says at last.

“Jongdae,” he says, then points at the seat opposite Baekhyun. “May I?”

Baekhyun nods with a fervency that betrays his desperation. Jongdae places his tray at the edge of the table and takes a seat.

“I bet I look like a sorry sack, huh?” Baekhyun asks, still smiling.

“You look like a regular who’s never gotten to order anything,” Jongdae corrects him.

Baekhyun laughs. “That’s true, I should come early and try something next time.”

“I’d like that, I don’t get to see you enough when you come in.”

Baekhyun absolutely preens at the affection, his mood seeming to actually improve rather than hiding behind a mask. He rests his elbows on the table and props his chin in his hands, leaning over towards Jongdae. 

“So who’s the lucky guy?” he asks. 

Jongdae tilts his head in question. 

“You know,” Baekhyun elaborates. “The guy that inspired this, who made you want to spend your life helping others.”

The flirty posture is clearly just to tease; he thinks there’s a boyfriend in the picture. It’s ironic that this is the moment Irene choses to come out to the front, as if in testament to how wrong the assumption is. Their eyes catch as she greets Minseok and she sends him an encouraging smile. 

It’s ironic that she comes into view as soon as Jongdae thinks of Wendy. 

“My best friend, actually,” he finally says, hides the gravity of the statement behind an easygoing expression. But he hesitates; how much to tell, how much to brush away back into the vault where he keeps his guilt. “She… she was killed protecting her lover.”

He can’t help glancing across the room. He still worries about her. 

“Irene and I don’t want that to happen again.”

Baekhyun’s eyes are wide. He turns to look at Irene, still chatting away happily with Minseok, then back to Jongdae with the same stunned expression. Probably wasn’t expecting that answer. No one ever is. 

“... I’m sorry,” he finally stammers out, dropping his eyes and fiddling with his hands under the table. 

Jongdae tries to make himself say ‘it’s okay,’ like he’s supposed to, but it still doesn’t feel like that’s true even after all this time. 

But then Baekhyun looks up to say, “and thank you. For doing this, for making this place. I won’t take it for granted.”

Jongdae is taken aback. Not many people know about why he and Irene do this, and while people are grateful it never feels this… heavy. Significant. Healing. 

He smiles. 

“I’m glad you’re here,” he tells him. 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes with a shy smile like he won’t let himself believe that for a second. Even Jongdae is surprised to realize just how much he means it.

“And what about you?” Jongdae asks, steering the conversation to lighter pastures. “More into wining and dining than you let on?”

Baekhyun leans back into his seat looking supremely smug. “I’m more into trying every flavor. You know, seeing the world, living my life.”

“I’m impressed. Not everyone has that kind of confidence.”

“I don’t know if I’d call it confidence,” he mutters as he relaxes into a posture that looks more comfortable. 

“And?” Jongdae prompts. “What are your findings on this exploration of the world you’ve been on?”

The grin that spreads across Baekhyun’s face is so full of delight and mischief that Jongdae is certain he’ll make quick work of rising through the ranks of his favorite regulars. And something about that feels as dangerous as it is exhilarating.

\---

True to his word, Junmyeon comes to the shop on a gloomy Friday afternoon without any sort of appointment. Jongdae wishes he had made one anyway just so he could have been more emotionally prepared. 

Jongdae makes them both drinks, on the house of course, and Irene waves them away to a table in the corner, far enough away that she won’t be dragged into any inevitable work talk. 

Junmyeon laughs and says, “Well I’m only here to see Jongdae anyway.”

Jongdae’s heart swells at the words. 

“How are plans for the ceremony coming along?” Jongdae asks as they take a seat, more to remind himself of reality than out of curiosity. 

“I'm going to need something harder than coffee if you want me to talk about wedding planning,” Junmyeon says with a hearty laugh.

Jongdae agrees wholeheartedly with that.

“Alright, alright,” he says with a sigh as fake as his nonchalance. “I know you love interest rates more than people anyway.”

“Hey!” Junmyeon laughs, “That’s thinking of the future right there. Don’t judge me just because forecasting was the only thing you couldn’t do back in university.”

Jongdae rests his chin in his hand and gives Junmyeon a good natured eye roll. 

“Monitoring government policy along with market trends is where I draw the line, I was never going to make it as a big, bad loan officer like you.”

“You didn’t need to follow me anywhere, that finance professor wanted to _adopt_ you,” Junmyeon reminds him, shaking his head at the memory. He leans over the table on his elbows, tilting himself closer in a way that would have looked very much like flirting if Jongdae didn’t know intimately better. 

“You already had a job lined up, didn’t you? For Goldman Sachs?” Then Junmyeon’s face falls with a wistful sigh, disappointed. “All you had to do was graduate…”

All it would have taken was a few more months, it’s true. Jongdae tries not to dwell on it, how different his life would have been if he had taken that job, moved upstate into some high rise apartment, stayed connected with his family and colleagues. He could be living the life of a successful businessman, nevermind all the pressures that come with it. 

He drops his gaze. He can never look Junmyeon in the eye when they talk about this.

“You know my heart was just never in it,” Jongdae tries to tell him, his words mumbled too softly to be convincing. 

“You can't lie to me, you're brilliant,” Junmyeon insists. “Just look at this place. You and Irene built this all on your own with no advisory help. Say what I will about your profits, I know it’s all deliberate.”

Junmyeon finally drops his gaze as well. “I just think it’s a shame,” he admits, his voice soft now. “You really shined when we would work together.”

Jongdae can’t help the bashful smile at the compliment. It hits differently when Junmyeon says it. It makes the other path look like the right one. But he knows, he _knows_ that’s not true. He takes a deep breath. 

“… There’s more than one type of polish,” Jongdae finally says. “I found a new calling and I enjoy it very much. I promise.”

Junmyeon looks up again and when their eyes meet oh how Jongdae wishes he could drown in them forever, wishes he could reach across the small table and take Junmyeon’s hand in his, wishes he could close every gap between them.

“Well. If you’re sure,” Junmyeon says.

Jongdae lets his lips curl up in an indulgent smile. 

“As long as I have you looking out for me,” he says, flirting because he can. 

That’s when the door opens. Jongdae glances back to see and feels a pang of something sharp and panicked ring through his chest as Baekhyun strolls in with yet another new date. It only takes a moment for their eyes to catch, as if Jongdae was the first thing Baekhyun looked for upon entering. There’s the barest instant of stillness as what they see registers, as they both realize the other’s situation. 

Jongdae wants time to stop so he has a chance to figure out the expression Baekhyun has before he turns on his usual grin. He forces his attention back to Junmyeon. 

“Duty calls,” Jongdae says with a plastered on smile as he pushes himself away from the table, his heart hammering with sudden nerves. 

He’s not sure why he feels guilty about Baekhyun seeing him with Junmyeon, at being caught flirting with a straight man by someone who is on a date himself. Surely it’s because Baekhyun doesn’t know, it must be that he’s worried about a regular accidentally outing himself. There can be no other explanation. 

He smiles like normal for Baekhyun and his date as he comes behind the counter, silent back up as Irene tells them that brunch service will resume shortly. She passes their order to Jongdae and he gets to work without a word. They’re simple drinks, and Jongdae can feel Baekhyun’s eyes on his back as he waits at the counter, his gaze more piercing than usual. Jongdae assures himself it’s nothing, that of course things feel a little different now that they are formal acquaintances. When he turns back to the counter, he almost believes himself. 

“Good to see you, Baekhyun,” he says with practiced steadiness. “Your espressos.”

Baekhyun looks at Jongdae expectantly instead of reaching for his drinks. When no significant exchange is forthcoming, Baekhyun smirks and swings himself around the end of the counter to poke behind it, leaning into Jongdae suddenly. 

“Thanks for the other day…” Baekhyun whispers into his ear, his breath ghosting across his skin and down his neck. 

Surprise freezes Jongdae in place as Baekhyun pulls back as quickly as he came. Beakhyun’s smirk grows wider and wider until he is purely grinning from ear to ear. Then he grabs his drinks and bounds back over to his date without another word, leaving Jongdae helpless to do anything but watch him go. 

The air feels cold against the gooseflesh on his skin and Jongdae starts to wonder if he’s cursed to only desire those who are impossibly far out of reach.

\---

Chanyeol always heads out first after brunch with a wave and a “see you next time,” always rushing back to his prim and proper reality like he's running late for a meeting. Then Kyungsoo generally emerges after a short delay, a common safety measure among their patrons. 

Sometimes he is slower than others.

“... Did you see Kyungsoo leave?” Irene asks suddenly after a rush of orders. 

Jongdae pauses. He hadn’t.

“I’ll go check on him,” he says as he puts down the dishes, then heads for the door to the apartments. 

Kyungsoo is still there in the stairwell, seated on the second step with his head against the wall, staring straight ahead with an oddly pensive expression. Jongdae approaches silently and takes a seat. He waits for a moment, on the off-chance that Kyungsoo wants to speak first. 

Kyungsoo never speaks first. 

“... It feels silly to ask,” Jongdae finally says. 

“It’s fine,” Kyungsoo says with a sigh. He sits upright and rolls his shoulders. “Of course it’s fine. It’s…” he snorts out a harsh breath. “It’s _fine._ ”

“Mm-hmm,” Jongdae hums slowly to make his disbelief clear. 

Kyungsoo chews on the inside of his mouth for all of five seconds before he cracks. He lets out a frustrated, albeit quiet, roar and violently musses up his hair. 

“I want more than this!” he almost yells, “I want to move faster than this but there’s always something in the way, something he has to choose over me! He says he’s committed but he won’t _commit_ , all he does is make me crazy.”

An all too familiar story, especially with people like Chanyeol who have everything to lose. But Jongdae has seen plenty of stories in his time with the cafe and there have been plenty like this that have happy endings. He thinks these two have a better chance than most.

“Give him time, Soo,” Jongdae tells him softly, placing a hand gently on Kyungsoo’s shoulder. “This is the first time Chanyeol has ever tried to act on his feelings, right? That says a lot about you.”

Kyungsoo looks up at him finally, the uncertainty looking foreign on his dark features until he relents. 

“You’re right… And he is getting better about it,” he mumbles. He lets out a heavy sigh then hoists himself up onto his feet. “He says he’s working on it. I have to believe when he says that.”

“Some people take longer than others,” Jongdae points out as he stands. Then with a sly grin he adds, “And Chanyeol seems worth the wait, don’t you think?”

Kyungsoo levels him with a cold hard stare and says nothing. Jongdae just laughs. 

\---

It’s rather early on a Thursday evening for Baekhyun to make an entrance, but enter he does with a spring in his step and no date on his arm. He slides up to the counter with such a grin on his face that Jongdae can’t help one of his own. 

“I’m here to have a drink,” Baekhyun announces proudly.

“Wow. And?” Jongdae asks. “That can’t be the only reason.”

“Aaaaand I’m second guessing a date so I came here instead.”

Jongdae pretends to be shocked.

“You mean to tell me you’re visiting _other_ gay establishments?”

“Your customers are too nice!” he argues, “Too, what’s the word…”

“Monogamous?”

“Yeah, that.”

Jongdae laughs at him. 

“You don’t have to come here for brunch, we have a lot of people who come just to hang out, to be in a safe place, maybe make some friends.”

“Wow, lame,” Baekhyun says, making himself comfortable at the counter and propping himself up by his elbows. 

“I imagine that’s not exciting enough for you,” Jongdae says with a chuckle.

They talk for a time over the counter, about the type of people they’ve seen, about the covers they’ve used. When people come up to order Baekhyun steps aside silently and watches Jongdae work, his gaze intent like needles in Jongdae’s neck. Or perhaps Jongdae is imagining things, overly aware of Baekhyun after the last time they saw each other. 

When the drinks are done and Jongdae turns back to Baekhyun, he is waiting with his customary grin in place. Jongdae wants to think nothing of it.

Sehun comes later in the evening, dragging his feet up to the counter. It’s how he always is on weekdays before he gets something to drink.

“Hey, Sehun,” Jongdae calls at his approach.

“Caramel,” Sehun grumbles in the closest thing he ever gets to a whine. 

“Alright, alright,” Jongdae laughs and gets right to work.

Baekhyun stares up hard at Sehun where he towers over both of them, oddly intent and considering.

“… Hey, wanna be friends?” he says suddenly.

Sehun frowns as he looks Baekhyun up and down.

“Sure, who the hell are you?”

“Byun Baekhyun, currently on the run from a creepy date.”

“Ah. Oh Sehun, I’m just here to annoy him,” he says, motioning to Jongdae.

“Oh, we are gonna get along _great_.”

Jongdae rolls his eyes. He’s never regretted giving advice before but he can tell that these two will test him. 

\---

The door rings on an early Tuesday afternoon and Chanyeol shuffles in, fiddling with his cap in his hand. Jongdae almost doesn’t recognize him with how quiet he is.

“Chanyeol, what a surprise to see you before Kyungsoo,” he calls from the table he’d been wiping down. 

Chanyeol practically jumps five feet in the air, spooked by Jongdae’s words. He opens his mouth to greet him, but he’s too busy wringing his hat into ruins and no words come out. So he closes his mouth and just smiles awkwardly to Jongdae. 

It’s all completely unprecedented. 

“Chanyeol? … Why don't you take a seat, I'll be right over.”

Chanyeol nods fervently and meanders to a table in the corner even though there’s hardly anyone in the shop at this time. 

Jongdae brews tea for the both of them, not something Chanyeol would ever order but that he always accepts when it’s clear he needs it. Jongdae takes a seat next to him and slides a mug over, waiting for Chanyeol to wrap his hands around his drink before speaking. 

“You okay, Yeol?” Jongdae finally asks. 

“I'm fine, really,” Chanyeol says with a sheepish laugh. “It's nothing so important.”

“Can you tell me what happened?”

Chanyeol’s grasp on his mug tightens. “I…met with a young woman of some renown. Her parents like my parents and she seems to like me which is unfortunate.”

“Oh Yeol…”

“He knows it's coming,” Chanyeol says quickly. _“I_ knew it was coming, it's just. Facing it is so different. What if this makes him want to give up on me?”

“If he even considers that, then he's not half the man I think he is. Does it make you want to give up?” Jongdae asks, already knowing the answer.

“No! I could never, I—” Chanyeol’s words cut off suddenly, like a higher power is stopping him from revealing too much. But it’s already so clear.

“You love him,” Jongdae finishes for him. 

“It's terrifying, thinking about how much I would throw away for him,” Chanyeol continues. “He says I don't have to sacrifice anything, but it's getting harder to see how that's possible.”

Chanyeol finally takes a slow sip of his tea. When he brings the mug down his shoulders have begun to relax.

“I’ve never said it, you know, I haven’t told him I...”

Jongdae knows. He knows it’s hard. It makes the feelings real, like something you can never back away from again. He’s never said it to anyone either.

“Has he ever said it?” Jongdae asks.

“Once or twice, when he thought I was asleep,” Chanyeol says, a small smile beginning to tug at his lips. “He works so hard to make sure he doesn’t pressure me, but I know he wants to. I know he wants more than this.”

“Then you also know he cares about you enough to weather this storm with you,” Jongdae offers.

Chanyeol smiles at him, big and dopey and finally starting to look like his usual self again.

“Yeah…” Then he laughs. “Kyungsoo is stubborn like that.”

\---

Jongdae has never seen Baekhyun come in on a Sunday despite what a popular brunch day it is. He always looks a little out of place when he comes in alone, when he does not immediately see the person he’s looking for, but this is… different. He glances around the room at the other customers like he always does but his shoulders are tense, his eyes wary as if shadows lurk behind every stranger. His eyes dart back and forth and he can’t even try to pretend he’s not nervous. He wrings his hands together as he steps gingerly towards the counter, pressing them down on the wood to make himself stop when he gets there. 

He’s trembling. 

“Baekhyun?”

“I don’t feel better yet,” Baekhyun says as he stares somewhere halfway down Jongdae’s chest, his throat trying to strangle the words on their way out.

Jongdae lays his hands over his and Baekhyun’s eyes dart down to the contact. His jaw is clenched around something he still can’t say. Jongdae goes into crisis mode. 

“Irene,” he calls back, then he takes Baekhyun’s hands in his and leads him past the counter to the apartment door. He’s pretty sure the last couple in his flat left not five minutes ago, maybe he can get Baekhyun to calm down if there’s no prying eyes on him, friendly or otherwise. 

Irene peaks out of the storeroom and catches Jongdae’s eye as he leads Baekhyun back. She takes in Baekhyun’s state and it’s all the explanation she needs. 

“My place is off limits for a bit,” Jongdae says anyway. 

Irene nods and comes out to watch the shop in his stead as they finally slip out of sight. 

Baekhyun takes an audibly shaky breath immediately. He’s still shaking, still staring at their hands. 

“Come on,” Jongdae urges him softly

Baekhyun follows him up the stairs easily enough even as his eyes stay locked on his hand in Jongdae’s, focused on that one point like it’s an anchor. He’s silent as Jongdae closes the door behind them and leads him to the couch to sit. He starts to open his mouth but then nothing happens.

“Baekhyun, talk to me.”

“Someone at my church is gay,” he finally blurts out after another hesitant moment. Then the words course out of him like a flood. 

“I didn’t even know but someone found out and we had a…” He curls in on himself. The shaking gets worse. “God, I don’t even know, they called it a _baptism_ but it was more like a, an exorcism! They just kept—”

Jongdae watches with wide eyes as Baekhyun chokes on his words for a moment, watches the shock morph into anger and indignation. His hands tighten around Baekhyun’s. 

“It doesn’t work like that! You can’t just dunk someone underwater for an hour and expect them to come up praising Jesus and tits!” Baekhyun shouts. Slowly, the fear takes root. “This isn’t a disease to be cured! It’s only a matter of time before my parents catch me and make me drown in holy water or whatever and then what? I lie about being cured and then they catch me again? What are they gonna do when they find out the baptism doesn’t work? Electrocute my feelings away? Call my dick defective and cut it off?”

Tears that had been welling in Baekhyun’s eyes finally spill over and Jongdae can take it no more. He lets go of Baekhyun’s hands only to pull him in by his arms, cradles Baekhyun’s head against his chest and wraps an arm around his shoulders to soothe his trembling. 

“Shh…” he breathes into the crown of Baekhyun’s head as a sob finally overtakes him. 

“I’m so scared,” Baekhyun whispers. 

“You’re safe here,” Jongdae murmurs back. “You’re safe, they won’t find you.”

“They made us, made us put our hands on him, pray for him,” he chokes out, his soft voice muffled by Jongdae’s shirt. “He was crying so hard and I… I couldn’t do anything. I just kept thinking, that’s gonna be me, I’m next.”

“You’re going to be okay, Baekhyun. You’re not doing anything wrong.”

“I’m so scared,” he says again with a whine that’s forcefully squeezed from his throat before his tears truly begin falling in earnest.

There is quiet for a time, save for Baekhyun’s hiccups and quiet sobs

It’s not the first time Jongdae has done something like this for someone, but it’s still surprising to him, the depth of the fear and sorrow people carry within them, hidden away like a necessary burden. It seems so obvious now that Baekhyun has always been afraid of something, always held everything at arms length even when he claims to be selfishly indulgent. It’s so obvious now why he doesn’t come on Sundays. Jongdae feels like he’s been blind, feels frustrated that it took an explosion of emotion for him to finally see. 

He won’t let it happen again. 

Baekhyun’s tears subside and then there is true silence between them (another thing he seems to fear.) He groans as he pulls away like he’s woken from a particularly good nap, scrubbing hard at the residue around his eyes. 

“Ugh, sorry,” he says, his voice cracked and hoarse. 

“Don’t apologize,” Jongdae tells him, “it sounds like you needed to get that out. That’s why people come in to make friends, you know, to talk about stuff like this.”

Baekhyun doesn’t look at him, he just stares down at his hands like he’s lost, his lips twisting with bitterness. 

“… I can’t risk that, having any kind of relationship. That’s how people get caught.”

Jongdae takes Baekhyun’s hand again and rubs his thumb over Baekhyun’s knuckles. Baekhyun’s expression shifts as he watches the movement, tinges ever so slightly with apprehension like he isn’t sure how he feels about it. He doesn’t pull away, though, far from it. 

“You’ll drive yourself crazy like that,” Jongdae muses. “You may call it a liability, but I’d call you a friend, Baekhyun. I’m here for you.”

Baekhyun’s gaze shoots up at that, eyes wide but unreadable. He just stares for a moment as he sorts through the statement. Whatever his conclusion, his fingers tighten around Jongdae’s. 

“… Are you sure about that?” He finally asks. There’s a familiar glint in his eyes, a mask back in place. “I’ve got a disease, you know, I’m ill.”

“How so?”

“I fuck men.”

Jongdae breathes a laugh. “Maybe they’ll put us in the same hospital room.”

Baekhyun bites his lip but he can’t stop the smile that spreads across his lips. His eyes are still red, his face blotchy, but he’ll be alright.

\---

“Who's your favorite regular?” Baekhyun asks from his perch by the counter.

“Hmmm it's so hard to pick,” Jongdae muses over the sink as he washes the coffee maker.

“Oh and Chanyeol doesn't count, he's like our son.”

“He's barely younger than me and worth ten times as much,” Jongdae laughs.

“That changes nothing.”

“In that case it's easy, Minseok.”

“Aha, he is really cute,” Baekhyun hums and drums his hands lightly on the counter.

Jongdae puts the last of the dishes out to dry then turns to Baekhyun and props his elbows on the counter. 

“You know it was so obvious he had no idea what he was doing the first time he came in,” Jongdae tells him, his face lighting up into a grin all over again at the memory. 

“What! Cute!” Baekhyun exclaims. 

“It was fantastic. He's got such wonder in his eyes still, it’s like hiding himself hasn’t put a damper on his spirit at all.”

“That man deserves a super cute boyfriend,” Baekhyun decides. 

“He's just still so shy,” Jongdae sighs as he turns back to the sink to wet a cloth.

“Maybe he's looking for someone like you?”

Jongdae looks at him, his head tilted in confusion. The thought had never crossed his mind. Of course he is friendly with many of his patrons but none of them come here for _him_.

“I doubt that,” he says after a moment. Then he starts to wipe down the counter. 

“Why's that?” Baekhyun asks, a little more forcefully than idle curiosity should warrant. “He's always sitting next to the counter.”

“Yeah, but that feels more like he's sticking with the only person he knows in the room,” Jongdae reasons, moving from the counter to the nearest table in a well practiced routine.

Baekhyun frowns. He doesn’t know Minseok is not the first of his kind, so it’s only natural that he doesn’t believe Jongdae.

“I guess…” he mutters. He watches silently as Jongdae wipes down the table then perks up suddenly. 

“Oh, oh you're _closing_ , shit, let me get out of your hair,” Baekhyun says, scrambling for his coat and double checking his pockets. 

“No, stick around, we’re having a discussion,” Jongdae tells him with a dismissive wave of his hand. He leans over to knock on the storeroom door and calls back, “All clear, Irene,” before moving to the next table and motioning for Baekhyun to continue. 

“Who's your favorite regular?”

“Mine?” Baekhyun asks, his arms still halfway into his coat sleeves. “Hmm, Sehun.”

Jongdae laughs, “You would.”

“He's so funny!”

“Oh Baekhyun, you're still here,” Irene notices as she emerges from the back office.

“Yeah, Jongdae won't stop talking my ear off,” Baekhyun tells her, grinning and letting his coat rest at his elbows.

“Better you than me,” she says with a shrug, then opens the register.

“Who's your favorite regular, Irene?” Jongdae asks from halfway across the room.

“Hm?” Irene hums and doesn’t look up until she’s finished counting the bills. “Oh, Kyungsoo.”

“Aaah, he would be popular with ladies,” Jongdae says.

“That jawline alone,” Baekhyun adds with a fake swoon to make his point.

“He feels so… safe, you know what I mean?”

“That's what it is,” Baekhyun agrees with a sage nod.

“I can see why Yeol likes him,” Jongdae muses with a soft smile that just proves Baekhyun’s point that Chanyeol is like their son.

\---

Chanyeol slips out of the back room like some kind of raccoon with something to hide. He tips his head a few too many times as he passes Jongdae.

“I gotta go, meeting with the, uh, _misses_ , as it were,” Chanyeol explains, then adds to himself, “I’ll figure out how to tell my family I can’t marry her eventually…”

Jongdae watches him go, his heart sinking. It’s not an altogether uncommon story, especially among those in Chanyeol’s position, but it is never an easy thing. He can’t help but worry, even for hearts as strong and loyal as Chanyeol’s and Kyungsoo’s. 

Oh, _Kyungsoo._

Jongdae glances at the back door. He knows he hasn’t left; Kyungsoo tries to sneak by on occasion, but Jongdae always catches sight of him. He’s still back there. They must have talked about it by now and Jongdae is sure it’s not something pleasant to stew in. 

He finishes one last order, then quietly slips through the door to the apartments. 

Kyungsoo is slouched against the wall across from the stairs, as if he nearly stumbled on his way down and he still hasn’t recovered. His face is oddly blank, eyes wide like he’s not really seeing or comprehending anything, but his head snaps up as Jongdae closes the door. He takes a deep breath and forcefully rights himself. Then he tilts to lean against the wall again. 

Jongdae opens his mouth to call out to him, but Kyungsoo speaks first.

“What am I doing here, Jongdae?” he asks, voice as blank as his face. “Here? With Chanyeol? Hiding here because we’re ashamed of each other?”

“There's no shame in keeping each other safe,” Jongdae offers. 

“It's more than that. Chanyeol has everything to lose and I’m just a blue collar boy here to ruin his life.”

“Kyungsoo, stop it,” Jongdae says. “You know he doesn’t see it like that.”

“I do,” he snaps, finally standing upright and glaring up at Jongdae. “I’m going to ruin his life, there’s no other—”

Jongdae steps forward to close the gap between them and cut him off. 

“If you really believed that, you wouldn’t be arguing with me right now.”

Kyungsoo deflates.

“He deserves so much more than I can give him…” he mumbles.

“He doesn’t need you to give him anything Soo, you know that.”

“Maybe… but why else would he hesitate so long with this—” Kyungsoo stops and forces a harsh breath through his nose, shaking his head. “It doesn’t matter,” he says to the floor. “I’m too weak to let him go. He can string me along as long as he wants.”

“Kyungsoo,” Jongdae tries to say, but Kyungsoo is already pushing past him and out the door, his steps heavier than Jongdae has ever heard them. 

\---

Just when Jongdae thinks he knows when to expect Baekhyun, he shows up at noon on a Monday instead. He will never figure this boy out. 

“Jongdae!” he calls as he skips his way up to the counter, his steps looking more like flying leaps. “Are you free Sunday? I mean, can you get off? I mean—you know what I mean!”

Jongdae laughs.

“That depends, what’s the occasion?”

“It’s finally time! I’ve completed all my service hours and I'm getting my big boy robe,” Baekhyun declares, standing as tall as he’s able and puffing out his chest. “Ordained minister Byun, doesn’t it just roll right off the tongue?”

“Wow, a man of the cloth, how blasphemous,” Jongdae teases. 

“Yeah yeah, laugh it up. _Most_ of the bible is great,” Baekhyun shoots back with a smirk as he collapses to the counter, his elbows propping him up like usual.

“I’m sure it is,” Jongdae agrees as his smile softens with fondness. “Congratulations.”

Baekhyun squirms for a moment, his mouth biting dimples into his cheeks as he tries to keep from grinning his ears off. 

“It's kind of a big deal so I just thought it'd be nice if you were there. Yanno. As my best friend.”

Jongdae goes slack-jawed. He thinks of all his regulars as friends of a sort but he’s never… No one has ever _said it_. It takes him a moment to register the request (also a first) and his chest swells as he realizes everything Baekhyun is asking. 

“… Yeah, of course,” he finally answers, breathless. “I wouldn't miss it.”

“Cool.” Baekhyun says, bouncing on his heels with giddy energy. “I can't stay actually, I gotta go practice and stuff. Here’s the address!”

He fumbles a paper out of his coat pocket and slaps it on the counter before he steps back with a wave. 

“See you then!”

Hope, so wholly unfamiliar, stings in Jongdae’s chest as he watches Baekhyun race back out and down the street, a toothy smile stretching his lips. He doesn’t know what to do with it, doesn’t feel it has any place. He doesn’t need anything else, he just wants to be here for Baekhyun, to support him in this moment as his friend. 

Best friends… and after Baekhyun claimed he didn’t want any. Jongdae smiles. 

\---

Jongdae has to park his beat up pick up at the edge of the dirt lot. There are already so many people at the church. Either there’s a whole class of to-be ministers being ordained today or Baekhyun is well loved in his community. The idea doesn’t seem far fetched.

The chapel itself is fairly large, with white wood panel walls, matching stained glass windows on either side of the double doors and a golden bell to top it all off. A few people still linger outside, speaking with their heads together like they’re passing secrets. They eye Jongdae and offer no greeting before going back to their quiet gossip. Odd. But Jongdae isn’t here for them or the church, he’s just here for Baekhyun.

He finds the mood isn’t much better inside, it seems like it’s going to be a sombre affair. Jongdae thought being ordained would be like a graduation, but it’s nothing but dour faces and hushed conversation all around him. It feels like it’s going to be more like a funeral. Or maybe just an ordinary sermon, he wouldn’t know. 

He takes a seat near the back; it’s not his church and he doesn’t want to step on any toes. He fiddles with the gospel book on the pew’s shelf in front of him just to keep himself from having to look at the worrying glances that pass all around him. There’s something off here but Jongdae doesn’t know enough about Christian rituals or becoming a minister to really grasp what it is. So he waits. He waits and tries to listen and before too long the great double doors slam shut and everyone takes a seat. 

The pastor comes and takes his place behind the pulpit. He looks as grave as the rest of them. 

“Brothers! Sisters. Heavy is the heart that cries out in pain. Heavy is the path the righteous walk. But light is the spirit who helps their fellow man. And so I thank you, all of you, for coming here today to help shepherd a wayward soul home again. A cherished member of this church whom I know you each hold dear in your hearts.”

Then Baekhyun enters the chapel and immediately stops dead in his tracks. Two men at the door with him grab hold of his arms and force him forward.

Oh no. Oh God in heaven, _no._

“And so I invite you all to join us at the altar,” the pastor calls out, and everyone around Jongdae stands like they know what comes next. Unfortunately, Jongdae knows too. “Come and help cleanse our brother in his greatest hour of need.”

Jongdae stands on unsteady legs as he watches Baekhyun's face go white, his jaw silently working, his eyes widening in terror. Jongdae grips the pew in front of him to keep himself upright, to keep his whole body from shaking. It feels like a knife in his stomach, the sight of Baekhyun facing his greatest fear and the paralyzing realization that he can do nothing to stop it. 

“Come,” a young woman from the row in front of him says solemnly, “he will do better with all our help.”

Jongdae follows along, numb. Baekhyun certainly does need help, but it isn’t the kind of help anyone in this room is going to give him. Jongdae can’t stand it. He had come here to help Baekhyun celebrate, Baekhyun had been _proud_ to be a part of this church that had only come together to condemn him. 

Baekhyun, dressed in the black robes of a minister, is forcibly dragged to the altar and knelt before a wide, shallow basin. Tears are already streaming down his face as the pastor smears some kind of oil in the shape of a cross on his forehead.

“No,” he chokes out. “Please, I’m not—”

But the pastor does not heed his words. No one does. They all just move slowly towards the altar, surrounding him, praying for him.

Jongdae’s dazed horror must show plain on his face because people keep pressing him forward, gently guiding him to the front of the group like they can tell he’s new, or perhaps that he is Baekhyun’s friend. 

It doesn’t help, being closer. Baekhyun doesn’t even see him, probably sees nothing but the vat of holy water before him. Now Jongdae can make out his erratic breathing, his continued pleas that are nothing more than whimpers. They’re all Jongdae can hear even as the pastor lays his hand on Baekhyun’s head and begins some sort of prayer. 

People begin reaching out to put their hands on Baekhyun as well. A few even rest a hand on Jongdae, gently pressing on his back and shoulders. It is not comforting. 

Jongdae swallows and finally reaches out to place his hand on Baekhyun’s shoulder. He knows Baekhyun can’t tell it’s him, knows every hand Baekhyun feels is more a knife than a comfort, but maybe if Jongdae can hold on tight enough, if he can squeeze Baekhyun’s shoulder strong enough, they’ll find some way to survive this. 

Finally, the “baptism” begins. 

Right from the start Baekhyun comes up coughing, he can’t hold his breath because he’s too busy crying. The pastor guides his head back to the water regardless. The others continue to pray alongside him, most of them with their eyes closed. No one sees how much Baekhyun suffers. They’re going to drown him at this rate. Jongdae’s hand trembles on Baekhyun’s shoulder, he can’t stand idly by and let this happen. 

There’s a rhythm to the pastor’s chanting prayer, a pattern that dictates how long they hold him under. Jongdae squares his hips and adjusts his hold while Baekhyun is up and close enough to reach.

Chant, two, three, four…

Dunk, two, three, four…

And then Jongdae _pulls_.

He and Baekhyun tumble backwards, taking several others with them, while the pastor loses his balance and splashes into the pool of holy water. Chaos breaks out, shouts and confusion ringing through the chapel. It’s while the people around him are still getting their bearings that Jongdae rolls over, hauls Baekhyun to his feet and practically carries him out of the church and into the dusty car lot. 

Baekhyun is still coughing out sobs as they run and he almost has his feet under him until they hit the stairs in front of the church and he stumbles all over again. Jongdae just barely manages to haul him behind a white Cadillac before the men who had dragged Baekhyun to the altar burst out of the church in pursuit. 

“Where’d they go?”

Baekhyun trembles against Jongdae’s chest, breaking into hysterics in an endless chant of, “How did they find out, how did they find out, how did th—”

“Shh, we’re gonna get you out of here,” Jongdae says into the crown of Baekhyun’s head. He pops his head up to double check where the hell he parked the truck and mutters, “God, Wendy, everything you did makes sense now…”

Baekhyun’s head snaps up with a gasp in horror.

“Don’t leave me…!” he tries to shout, but it comes out completely strangled.

“We have to move,” Jongdae tells him. 

This time when Jongdae pulls Baekhyun to his feet he actually manages to stay upright and they both race across the dirt lot, half crouched over to remain hidden between the cars. They’re spotted anyway and shouts pursue them but neither of them risk turning to look. Baekhyun manages to wrestle out of his ministry robes as they run and then they’re free to make a break for the truck. Jongdae races to unlock the passenger door before bothering with the driver side. 

They both scramble into the truck and Jongdae has the engine started before either of them even sit down. He takes off the instant his door is closed, scraping the bumpers on three different cars as he goes. 

Half the congregation has spilled out of the church to see them speed away. They’d probably continue pursuit, but no one reaches their cars fast enough to even attempt it. 

Baekhyun watches the church fade into the distance and when he can see that the danger has finally passed he curls up in the passenger seat and cries into his knees. 

Jongdae clenches his jaw and just drives. 

It’s nearly an hour back to the shop, nearly an hour of suburban roads and soft sobs. Baekhyun finally runs out of tears by the time they hit downtown and then there is silence broken only by the odd sniffle here and there. He watches the buildings whizz by and starts uncurling bit by bit the closer they get to the shop. Maybe this part of the journey brings him a bit of solace or maybe he can tell he’ll have to get out of the car soon, Jongdae doesn’t know. 

Jongdae pulls the truck into the alley behind the shop and hops out without saying anything. It’s not the time for words, not yet. He comes around to the other side and opens the passenger door for Baekhyun. He’s the sort of dazed that comes with crying too much for too long, making his movements slow and unsteady. Jongdae takes his hands to lead him out of the car and Baekhyun lets him, his fingers curling around Jongdae’s as he does. 

“Come on up, you can stay here,” Jongdae tells him softly. 

Baekhyun nods and follows him upstairs, their hands still clasped. 

Jongdae speaks quietly about nothing as they go, telling Baekhyun about Irene watching the store, about where he keeps his shoes and how he only has two pairs, about how he made iced tea but they should have water first. Baekhyun nods along, only letting go of Jongdae’s hands so he can fill a glass with water. Baekhyun takes it and chugs it all at once. Jongdae takes the glass back and refills it with a soft laugh, then ushers them into the sitting room. 

Quiet descends between them once more. Baekhyun stares at the glass of water on the coffee table like it's the only thing he can make sense of anymore. 

“There’s so much, I don’t know where to start…” he finally says with a shake of his head as he shifts towards Jongdae on the couch. 

“You don’t have to start anywhere.”

“I just,” he stops and swallows hard. His lips start to quiver and he’s cried so much already but he’s not out of tears yet, not for this. “I don’t know what I would have done if you weren’t there.”

Jongdae doesn’t wait for Baekhyun to come to him, he simply reaches out to pull Baekhyun against his chest, wraps his arms around him and holds on as tight as he’d wanted to back at the church as the sobs wrack Baekhyun’s body all over again. He rocks them back and forth as the words fall out of Baekhyun in disjointed chunks. 

“They didn’t—they didn’t even say anything!” he cries. 

Jongdae continues to sway with Baekhyun as he cries and yells into Jongdae’s chest. These are not the tears of cold, lonely sadness. No, these tears burn hot with anger, with vindictive frustration. He curses the church, his mentors, his family, swears he’ll do right to make up for their wrongs. Jongdae listens to every twist and turn of Baekhyun’s thoughts, consoling and agreeing with each new rant. Then he holds Baekhyun tight as his cries veer back towards fear and loathing, towards loneliness. 

“You’ve been so brave,” Jongdae murmurs into Baekhyun’s hair, “You’ve done everything you can, it’s not your fault.”

These tears peeter out just as the ones before and Baekhyun drifts off, slumping against Jongdae’s chest until Jongdae gently lays him down on his lap. Baekhyun offers one last wet sniffle before he falls properly asleep, his fingers twisting into Jongdae’s vaguely damp shirt. 

Jongdae takes a deep, heavy breath. He feels like he hasn’t taken a proper breath since the baptism started. He absently cards his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair as he lets his head fall back against the top of the couch. 

What a day. But Jongdae can’t help but wonder what would have happened if Baekhyun hadn’t invited him today, if he hadn’t been tricked into thinking it was a celebration. They could have accidentally killed him in that baptism pool, they could have locked him away until he was “cured” with Jongdae none the wiser as to where he had disappeared to. 

Baekhyun hasn’t been a regular for that long but Jongdae already can’t imagine the shop without him. He can’t even imagine the other patrons without him, joking with Sehun, prodding Minseok, laughing so loudly with Chanyeol that Irene comes out to yell at them. Jongdae can’t imagine looking up at the door and never again seeing Baekhyun’s bright smile. 

Jongdae laughs at himself. Little wonder how he ended up falling for Baekhyun like this. But that’s not his role in Baekhyun’s life. Jongdae is an overseer, a protector if he’s feeling generous. He’ll watch over Baekhyun, help him through this crisis, but that’s all. It’s all he’s ever been. 

The house is quiet besides the sound of traffic from the street and Baekhyun’s even breaths. Jongdae closes his eyes and simply listens, still running his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair in light circles. 

It isn’t too long before Baekhyun shifts to shove his face into Jongdae’s thigh with a soft groan. Jongdae chuckles. He scratches behind Baekhyun’s ear like a cat and spies the hint of a smile on his lips. Baekhyun turns to peak up at him and it’s almost like he’s back to his old self already. 

They simply look at each other for a moment. Baekhyun still looks half asleep.

“Is this the part where you kiss me?” Baekhyun says suddenly. 

“And why am I kissing you?”

“Cause I need a prince to come _whisk_ me away!” he says, flinging his arm out and flopping onto his back.

“Am I a prince now?” Jongdae laughs.

“Uh-huh,” Baekhyun tells him with a big showy nod. “Your apron is your shiny armor.”

Jongdae smiles at him and continues to run his fingers across Baekhyun’s scalp, which Baekhyun revels in. 

“I couldn’t,” Jongdae murmurs. “You’ve got too much life in you, too much love to give. I would only hold you back.”

Baekhyun’s sleepy smile falls into something more considering. He stares at Jongdae for a moment before answering.

“You’re the only one who never tried,” he whispers up at him. “Can’t you see that’s why I love you?”

Jongdae’s brain grinds to a halt. He can’t—surely this is friendly banter like before? Baekhyun flirts with everyone, he’s just continuing the joke, Jongdae is an overseer, a beacon for lonely hearts, no one has feelings for him, Baekhyun doesn’t—

Baekhyun pushes himself up to look Jongdae in the eyes, no flirting, no mask, only his steady, intense gaze.

“I love you,” he says again. “Jongdae, _I love you._ You keep trying to protect other people’s happiness, but you—! I’ve never felt more loved, more safe, more myself than when I’m with you. You are my happiness.”

_That’s my line,_ Jongdae wants to say. _I'm not the one who’s supposed to get what they want,_ he also thinks. But no words come. He opens his mouth to say something, anything, to answer the sincerity, the adoration in Baekhyun’s eyes and instead only manages to raise a hand to his face, caressing Baekhyun’s cheek with his thumb.

Baekhyun’s eyes are still puffy with dried tears. He closes them and leans heavily into Jongdae’s touch. 

Oh this boy. How was Jongdae ever going to stop from falling for him?

“This can’t possibly be the right time for this,” Jongdae reasons, more to himself than to Baekhyun who has snaked his hands behind Jongdae’s neck, bringing their foreheads together. 

“It’s never a good time,” Baekhyun scoffs at him. “There’s not time for people like us. Don’t make me face the regret of leaving this unsaid…”

Jongdae feels himself come undone. He’s left so many things unsaid, so many things undone. But not this. Not anymore. 

He closes the gap and Baekhyun whimpers against his lips, falling into the kiss instantly and threatening to drown Jongdae in all the things he’d been trying to keep from wanting. He wants to hold Baekhyun closer, wants to know the touch of his skin, wants to hear him say his name forever, wants Baekhyun to look at him the way he’s seen him look at so many others. All Jongdae’s desires come rushing forward and wash away everything, the church, the shop, nothing else matters except that Baekhyun is here in his arms. 

Something similar must be surging through Baekhyun because he tries to pull himself closer as well, wrapping his arms around Jongdae and climbing into his lap, his knees on either side of Jongdae’s hips. Their kisses are a mess of gasps and teeth and Jongdae would think it ridiculous if he could remember anything other than the taste of Baekhyun’s lips on his.

“Jongdae,” Baekhyun pleads against his lips, “Jongdae…!”

Jongdae answers by running his hands up Baekhyun’s back, rucking up his shirt so that his fingers glide across warm skin. Baekhyun hums something like a moan, soft and pleased and relieved. Jongdae wants to hear it again. 

Baekhyun pulls back, panting for air, and drags his hands and his eyes down Jongdae’s chest. When he glances back up he toys with the top button of Jongdae’s shirt, fingers brushing his collar bone. 

“Bet you don’t think it’s time for this either,” Baekhyun murmurs. 

“You’re sure this is what you want?” Jongdae asks, rubbing small circles along the small of Baekhyun’s back. “I haven’t done this in a long time, I’m sure you’ve had better.”

Baekhyun snickers at him. “I promise you I’ve had worse.”

He drops his forehead to Jongdae’s once more and begins slowly plucking open Jongdae’s shirt. 

“No one could compare anyway, I’ve never wanted anyone like this before.”

“Like what?”

He hesitates like he doesn't want to admit it, not even to himself.

“… With my whole heart.”

God, Jongdae wants everything from him.

He pulls Baekhyun in for one more languid kiss before he taps his hips and urges Baekhyun up so he can lead them to his bedroom. 

The desperation passes. Baekhyun bounces on his toes as they go, joking about wet t-shirts and coffee muscles and Jongdae laughs, even as he claims indignation. They laugh against each other’s lips as Jongdae wrestles out of his shirt and something else fills his heart. Something he thought he knew but now he can’t fathom how he’d gone without. Something like happiness, bright and incandescent and overflowing from every touch. 

Baekhyun is still grinning even as he falls back onto the bed and Jongdae belatedly realizes he’s grinning too. He’s grinning so hard his cheeks hurt. They laugh at each other as skin meets skin and, even as their laughter fades into breathless moans, the smile never falls from either of their faces. 

There are marks on his back from Baekhyun’s nails digging into his skin and his throat is hoarse but Jongdae can’t remember a time he’s ever felt so content. 

“Am I dreaming…?” Baekhyun mumbles in a sated stupor, looking up at Jongdae as he cleans up.

Jongdae rolls his eyes and comes back to bed, pulling the sheets up over them.

“Don’t give me that, you’ve had me wrapped around your finger from the start.”

“You felt untouchable,” Baekhyun admits, his hand absently curling against Jongdae’s chest. “Way out of my league, every time you indulged me I freaked out.”

“Out of your league, you’re the most desired man in this city,” Jongdae laughs.

“But not by you. You never tried anything.”

Jongdae pauses to brush a stray hair from Baekhyun’s eyes. 

“I did. I wanted you so much I felt like an idiot. But it was so much more important to me that you had someone you could trust.”

Baekhyun stares at him.

“God, could you stop being so perfect?”

_That’s my line_ , Jongdae thinks again even as Baekhyun drags him down for a kiss. 

\---

When the alarm goes off at 4:30 Baekhyun whines high in his throat. He flails about trying to knock the clock over without knowing where it is and doesn’t even come close. 

Jongdae chuckles into Baekhyun’s shoulder before he hoists himself up to reach over him and shut off the alarm. In the dark of the early morning he can’t see the marks he knows mar Baekhyun’s neck but he can make out the way Baekhyun looks up at him with sleepy eyes, his gaze flicking up and down to take him all in, to remember this isn’t a dream. Jongdae dips down to catch eager lips in a kiss, their mouths moving gently together in the dark. Jongdae could stay like this forever.

“I gotta get up,” he whispers instead.

“You would leave me here in my time of need?” Baekhyun whines, trying to chase Jongdae’s mouth and flopping dramatically back into the pillow when he can’t.

“Do you know how much money we make off people who think we just do coffee?” Jongdae chuckles. He brushes Baekhyun’s hair back and presses his lips to Baekhyun’s forehead. “You’re safe here, I’m not going far.”

Baekhyun reaches up to drag his fingers lightly across Jongdae’s cheek, then presses his mouth closed and tries a faint smile. 

He watches Jongdae pad across the room to his dresser and then to the washroom. By the time Jongdae reemerges, he’s curled into the blankets once more, his face pressed into the pillow where Jongdae had once been. 

Jongdae bites down the urge to go to him and heads downstairs to open the shop. 

\---

It’s telling enough that Jongdae never came back to help close the shop yesterday like he said he would, but Irene says nothing about it for now. She’s not the best conversationalist at five in the morning, that’s Jongdae’s job. They set to work like nothing has changed and their morning rush begins like usual.

Sometime around 7am, the door to the back clicks shut and Jongdae just barely manages a glimpse of short cropped hair and a slate blue jumpsuit.

"Soo was here?" He turns to ask Irene as they tag-team a large order.

"Yeah, is that alright?" She asks, glancing up. "You always say your guest room is never off limits, but I guess I should have—"

"No, no, it’s definitely fine,” Jongdae says with a wave to clear away her concern. “I just came home in such a rush I didn’t even notice."

"They came in pretty late. Kinda seemed like they needed it."

Jongdae hums in understanding. The last time he'd seen Chanyeol and Kyungsoo they'd both been on edge.

"I’ll go up and check on Chanyeol during the next lull if he’s still around."

Irene nods and passes him two lattes.

It takes about two hours, but eventually the stream of morning customers filters down into something manageable and Jongdae slips upstairs to his apartment. He finds Chanyeol sitting on the floor with Baekhyun by the coffee table, two mugs and a plate of bread crumbs between them.

Chanyeol tries to clamor to his feet when he spots Jongdae.

"I’m sorry! We didn’t even rent the kitchen and we’re using your—"

"No, it’s more than fine Chanyeol, you know you’re not just a customer to us," he says, then pauses to take in the state of them, nearly dressed and fully awake. "… Why are you guys on the floor?"

“We were sad!” Baekhyun chirps with an oddly bright smile. “Feels kinda nice down here.”

_We._

"… Are you alright, Chanyeol?"

"I’m just thinking too much," Chanyeol assures him, waving his hands frantically. "Nothing happened, not like…"

He trails off as he glances at Baekhyun and, ah. So he talked about it.

"Surely something set the thoughts in motion?" Jongdae suggests.

Chanyeol grimaces, his shoulders slumping.

"There’s nothing I can do so nothing has happened."

Sometimes doing nothing can be worse. Jongdae kneels down beside Chanyeol and gives his shoulder a squeeze.

"Just remember that whatever you decide to do, you don’t do it alone."

Chanyeol nods at the floor.

"You doing okay?" Jongdae turns to ask Baekhyun.

Baekhyun grins at him, but it's reminiscent of when they first met, back when he still put on a show.

"Nothing a good slice of jelly toast can't handle," he says.

"Alright," Jongdae says, getting to his feet. "You both should come downstairs when you're ready, get yourselves some proper coffee."

"Will do!" Baekhyun calls after him as he heads back down.

\---

Baekhyun comes downstairs wearing one of Jongdae's sweaters, as if it wasn't obvious enough yet.

“ _Well_ ,” Irene starts, looking him up and down as a wicked grin turns up her lips. “He looks like he’s ready for Sunday brunch.”

“I love brunch!” Baekhyun agrees with a grin of his own to match.

Irene leans over to Jongdae and mutters, “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting to tease you about Baekhyun?”

“Ugh, please continue waiting, thanks,” Jongdae groans as he rubs the bridge of his nose.

“Yesterday must have been quite the party,” Irene notes, turning back to Baekhyun.

Baekhyun opens his mouth to answer and then laughs a little awkwardly.

“… You could say that,” he eventually says.

“I brought him here for more than just brunch,” Jongdae clarifies in a soft voice.

“Oh,” Irene says. But she only misses half a beat before she smiles at Baekhyun again and tells him, “You’re welcome as long as you like, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun’s shoulders bunch up with embarrassment, but his smile is more authentic than it’s been all morning.

\---

Jongdae heads into the storeroom to refill the syrups and Baekhyun follows like he’s got an agenda in mind. Jongdae has one too, but it’s probably not quite the same.

Well… It’s a little similar. 

Baekhyun stumbles back against a crate of coffee beans and Jongdae takes the opportunity to hoist him up on top of it. He kicks his feet out around Jongdae’s hips and bites his lip, still a little breathless. Jongdae runs his hands up Baekhyun’s legs until his arms loop around his hips. 

“Do you want to talk about us or your family?” Jongdae asks instead of leaning back in. 

Baekhyun gapes for just a moment before glancing away with a pout.

“Baekhyun,” Jongdae persists. “I’m not gonna let you leave them like this. _You_ don’t want to leave them like this.”

“Yeah, well, right now I’d rather they stew in how much they miss me for a hundred years,” he grumbles.

“Sounds fair,” Jongdae agrees. “Then we can talk about us.”

Baekhyun eyes him, biting his lip again.

“Does that mean there’s an us to talk about?”

“I think there’s been an us long before last night.”

Baekhyun ducks his head to hide a shy smile as he toys with the collar of Jongdae’s shirt, rubbing the fabric between his fingers absently. 

“Is it alright that there’s an us?” he asks, his voice low like a whisper. “Can we keep this? I’ve never kept anything before…”

“That depends on what you want,” Jongdae tells him. “Because you know I’ll always be here, I’m not—I can’t go anywhere.”

Baekhyun shrugs. “I don’t know, you just feel like home to me. I want this to be home.”

“And what of your worldly travels?” Jongdae asks, his brow high. 

“I’ve seen enough, I’m homesick now. I just want to be with you.”

“I don’t want to be the reason you hold yourself back.”

“I’m _not._ ” Baekhyun insists, dropping his head back like it’s the dumbest thing Jongdae could be worried about. “I promise, for once I’m not holding back.”

Jongdae thinks about what that means for a moment, that Baekhyun can see staying in one place as freedom while Jongdae has always considered otherwise. What else, he wonders, what else can Baekhyun show him about freely living his life?

Baekhyun slides his arms over Jongdae’s shoulders and tilts his head in invitation. Jongdae can think of one thing, at least, that he never has to hold back again.

“In that case, I want you here too,” Jongdae finally says. “I want you by my side. I want to be the only one you look at like this.”

“It’s been just for you for so long…” Baekhyun murmurs as they gravitate together once more, helpless to resist now that neither of them have to. 

They only break apart when Irene yells at them from the front. They scramble for the syrups and carry them out to the front together, Baekhyun following Jongdae’s lead to figure out where each bottle goes. 

“What if I worked here with you?” Baekhyun asks suddenly as he straightens all the measuring cups. “I’ve helped you close more than once, I’m already friends with half your regulars, and I know the whole menu, even the brunch one.” He turns to Jongdae then, the plea far stronger in his eyes than in his voice. “C’mon, at least until I’m ready to face my family, you know? I need something to do.”

It catches Jongdae off guard how easy a solution it is. He knows Baekhyun, knows he wouldn’t survive a single day sitting around waiting while Jongdae works late into the evening. He wouldn’t be able to handle the waiting even if he didn’t have a crisis hanging over his head, threatening to drown his every waking thought in doubt and fear. So he knows Baekhyun needs this, needs something to keep himself from drowning. 

Plus, he’s positive Baekhyun will look cute in an apron.

He turns to Irene, a little helpless. His answer is clear, but it’s not just his call to make.

Irene shrugs noncommittally and then turns to Baekhyun to ask, “How good are you at laundry?”

\---

It’s more than a relief to have an extra set of hands around the shop. Irene sets Baekhyun to work assisting the brunch patrons which frees her up to actually get her bookkeeping done. During the day when people are ordering coffee instead of brunch Baekhyun spends his time tidying the store, chatting up customers and, more often than not, flirting with Jongdae.

“I have so many new flavors to try,” Baekhyun says, leaning back against the front counter and pulling Jongdae towards him by his apron pocket. “Pinning you to the counter, trying to touch you during working hours, fucking in the store room…”

The store is blessedly empty. Jongdae takes the bait.

“Getting punished for that cheeky mouth of yours,” he says with a smirk, taking Baekhyun’s chin between his fingers to force his face up. 

Baekhyun laughs in delight, his eyes already half closed in anticipation. Baekhyun never stops being enticing and Jongdae leans in for a kiss just as the door rings.

"Junmyeon!" Jongdae half yelps, jumping away from Baekhyun so fast he has to steady himself against the back counter. Baekhyun turns slowly in a way that could look nonchalant if Jongdae couldn't see the tightness in his jaw.

Junmyeon, blessedly ignorant, frowns just slightly, like he doesn't know why Jongdae is so surprised to see him.

"I didn't realize you could afford a part timer?" He says as he strides up to the counter.

“I'm more of an intern,” Baekhyun clarifies, turning on the charm at the drop of a hat. “I just really wanted to learn how to make coffee like Jongdae does, I had to beg him to let me. I'm Baekhyun.”

The explanation gives Jongdae a chance to recover and he rejoins Baekhyun at the front counter.

“Oh, Baekhyun, I haven’t told you about our banker, Junmyeon. He can’t even spare the time to have brunch with us so you’ve never had the chance to meet.”

Junmyeon rolls his eyes with a good natured smile. “Something's come up that I need to run by Irene,” he says.

Jongdae freezes all over again. The only person more thrown off by an unexpected visit from Junmyeon is Irene.

“Oh I thought she was pretty busy today,” Jongdae stammers, searching for any excuse until Baekhyun covertly reaches out to brush his fingers against his hip.

“I'll check on her. She likes me, she won't yell at me if I'm the one interrupting,” he says, then heads for the storeroom before anyone can argue. He drags his hand across the small of Jongdae’s back as he goes, one last bastion of comfort.

And then Jongdae is alone with Junmyeon. For once there are no butterflies in his chest, only rocks in his gut. He very suddenly realizes he hasn’t thought of Junmyeon since they last saw each other. 

“He… seems nice,” Junmyeon starts. 

“Yes, he's a handful but he's a hard worker,” Jongdae manages to say, but he can’t meet Junmyeon’s eye.

“Jongdae, are you alright?” he asks, frowning like before. “You seem out of sorts.”

Oh god. Jongdae is finally _not_ flirting and now Junmyeon thinks he's acting weird.

“N-no, I'm. Totally fine,” Jongdae tries, forcing his eyes up.

“… Is there something you're not telling me?”

“You mean about the… intern?” God, Jongdae is such a shit lair, how has he managed to keep the store safe for so long. 

Irene swings the storeroom door open and cocks her head, her hands on her hips. 

“You could have called,” she says.

Junmyeon turns to her and shrugs, his suspicion forgotten.

“It’s a bit too much for a phone call.”

Irene and Junmyeon disappear into the back and Jongdae takes the opportunity to let go the heavy breath he was all too aware of holding. 

“No brunch for that one, huh?” Baekhyun muses. “That’s exciting.”

“Irene is smarter than him so it’s never been a problem, but now he thinks I'm hiding something.”

“Only _now_?” Baekhyun scoffs.

“Well now there’s…” Jongdae trails off, motioning between the two of them.

Baekhyun, clearly pleased to be the source of any mischief, grins broadly and points to himself like he’s suddenly being given an award. Then he laughs. 

“He can smell the happiness on you.”

“Ha! That’s one way to put it.”

“He’s not wrong, though,” Baekhyun says. “Does he really not know anything?”

Jongdae shrugs helplessly. “He barely comprehends that being gay is a thing. We can’t let this slip and risk losing the only banker we trust.”

“But you don't even trust him.”

“We can trust that _when_ he leaves he'll be kind about it.”

\---

Jongdae is occupied when Junmyeon leaves so he’s spared another incriminating conversation. But Irene doesn’t reappear, not even to complain about whatever that meeting had been about. Hours pass. The evening brunch rush is about to start. 

He leaves Baekhyun at the counter and heads into the storeroom to check on her. He’s greeted by the unhappy squeal of the coffee grinder and a metallic _clang_ followed by Irene’s deep sigh. 

“Irene?” Jongdae calls out. “You alright?”

“Interest rates are going up again,” she says in answer. She pulls herself out from behind their giant, ancient coffee grinder and leans heavily against the bin. “Which means we can’t finish saving up for a new grinder. Which I just broke…”

“Oh, Irene,” Jongdae sighs, joining her and looking up at the shaky funnel. They knew what they were getting into when they bought something like this second hand. 

“I’ll have to call Junmyeon again. Maybe a little loan will have a flat rate.”

“He’s gonna say I told you so,” Jongae muses. “He’s always telling us we aren’t ready for things like this.”

“We have hand grinders, it’s fine,” Irene says a little too loudly to be nonchalant. 

“Getting artisanal, are we?”

“Good thing we can get your boyfriend to help now, huh?” Irene says, slapping Jongdae’s shoulder as she finally heads to the front. 

Jongdae rolls his eyes and follows her out. 

\---

Jongdae runs his hands up the smooth skin of Baekhyun’s arm as he squirms closer, slotting his head in the crook of Jongdae’s shoulder with a pleased sigh. It’s so easy to forget everything else while they’re like this. What else could matter with the warmth of Baekhyun’s body pressed against him, both of them sated and sleepy after a long day. What else could matter but Baekhyun.

“How are you doing?” Jongdae asks, his voice soft like the shift of sheets. 

Baekhyun hums in answer, nuzzling his nose against Jongdae’s neck before uncoiling just enough to look up at him. 

“M’ coping,” He mumbles. “I’m surprised how easy it is here. Not the working, but being here. Staying here.” He draws idle circles on Jongdae’s chest with his fingertips. “Everything is so upside-down but here it still feels like I can find everything I want.”

“I’m glad. You fit right in here.”

Baekhyun’s fingers still.

“... It doesn’t feel the same for you.”

It’s not a question. They can both see it. Jongdae succeeded in building a safe haven for everyone but himself. 

“The shop is all I have,” Jongdae says because that is the truth of it. 

“But is it all you want out of life?” Baekhyun asks. “It’s okay if it is, but I don’t think that’s true. You’ve always got this look in your eyes like you’re waiting for something more.”

“What if I was waiting for you?”

Baekhyun smiles at him and for a moment they both pretend that’s enough.

“… That’s nice and all, but I’m right here and you still look like you’re waiting.”

Jongdae coughs out a laugh in surprise. 

“I’m sorry,” Jongdae says, scratching Baekhyun’s shoulder to console him. “I don’t want you to feel like you’re not enough for me.” But Baekhyun just shakes his head. 

“Love’s not the answer to all your problems,” he tells Jongdae. “But it can help you find them, if you’ll let me.”

There’s a familiar plea behind Baekhyun’s eyes, to be let in, to not be left behind. It’s the one request Jongdae has always been powerless to deny.

“I need all the help I can get,” Jongdae assures him, brushing Baekhyun’s bangs back from his face. “And what do I get to help you find?”

“Nuh-uh, we’re talking about you right now.”

Baekhyun sits up, but it is not to dislodge himself. He tangles them together in a different way so that it is Jongdae who is boxed in against the pillows, Baekhyun looming over him with his ever piercing gaze. 

“Tell me honestly. Is this really _everything_ you want?”

Jongdae doesn't know. He hasn't wanted anything in years.

“I put my life on hold for this place," Jongdae says after a moment, answering a different question because he doesn’t know the answer to the other. "Like my world stopped turning when we lost Wendy.”

“When do you get to take it back?”

“Do I ever?” Jongdae says. And then, because he knows even now that’s not the right answer, adds, “When everyone is safe?”

“Trying to save the world all by yourself,” Baekhyun scoffs. He runs his fingers through Jongdae’s hair, across his scalp and down past his ear. “You’ve been scared, same as me. But all I ever really wanted was a place to call home. What is it you really want?”

He snakes his hands around Baekhyun’s waist as he ponders it. He wants Irene to stand tall. He wants Kyungsoo to have confidence. He wants Minseok to be himself. He wants _Baekhyun_. But outside of that he comes up blank. 

“… I’ll have to get back to you on that.”

It's enough for now. Baekhyun collapses onto Jongdae’s chest and they both sink into the warmth of each other’s embrace. It’s enough for this moment, at least.

\---

The next visit from Junmyeon is planned in advance so Jongdae is ready to smile and lie through his teeth this time. Junmyeon doesn’t question him. He’s in the clear.

“I’m counting on Irene, my hands hurt,” Baekhyun says as he preps another cup of coffee grinds. 

Jongdae laughs. “Let me teach you some more drinks, then we can switch off.”

“Thank _god._ ”

He’s been teaching Baekhyun the simpler drinks, the ones most popular in the morning when they need help the most. It’s about time he taught him a latte or two. 

He’s about to show him how the steamer works when the shouting starts.

They both freeze and whip their heads towards the back room. In all the years Junmyeon has helped them run the store none of them had ever raised their voice. Not like this.

The panic hits like a knife in his sternum.

“Go on, I'll hold down the fort out here,” Baekhyun says, elbowing him towards the storeroom to get him moving. 

Jongdae nods, feeling numb, and slides into the back. It feels like walking into a hornet’s nest that someone has already kicked. 

“We've had this argument enough, you know why I—” Irene says.

“Look, I get it, okay?” Junmyeon cuts in. “We all miss her! Wendy was my friend too—”

“She wasn't my friend!”

No... 

“Irene, don't—” Jongdae tries to say, but he’s too far, too quiet, too late to stop her now that it’s out there.

“She was my lover! It wasn't an accident, we were attacked!” She takes a deep breath through her nose, steadying herself. Then, in perfect calm, she finishes with, “This isn't a coffee shop, it's a safe house.”

Junmyeon stands in shocked silence, the room going so quiet they can almost make out the gears turning inside his head. Jongdae can’t see his expression from where he stands behind him and he really never wants to.

“A safe…” Then it all registers. He sneers in disgust. “Both of you…?”

Jongdae and Irene both drop their eyes. They don’t need to answer.

“Consider the loan cancelled,” he finally says, his voice hard. It makes Jongdae jump. “I want payment in full by the end of the month or I'm selling the building, I don't need my name attached to such a… a cesspit as this.”

Junmyeon turns on his heel and moves past Jongdae to leave without much room to argue. 

“Junmyeon!” Jongdae cries, catching his wrist. “Junmyeon, you know this is too far!”

Junmyeon yanks his arm away as if burned. 

“Too far?” he spits. Jongdae has never heard him speak like this. “Consider it a mercy I'm not reporting you both. It's the last act of kindness you'll see from me.”

“Kindness? _This_? I told someone recently that we could trust that you’d be kind when you left, but now I see I was wrong.”

Junmyeon scoffs at him. “You never trusted me, you’ve kept all these secrets from me.”

“You haven’t exactly been helping us regret that decision,” Jongdae seethes, frustrated to be so wrong about someone he thought he knew. 

“Treachery begets treachery I guess.”

“You want me to be honest with you?” Jongdae starts because now that the truth is on the table it doesn’t matter anymore. Nothing matters! “I was in love with you. I was constantly flirting with you because I knew you couldn’t fathom the idea that you knew any homos personally. And it was only when I stopped flirting that you even noticed a difference.”

Junmyeon’s eyes go wide. He starts to step back, to put some space between him and Jongdae, but Jongdae matches him step for step, getting into his space to drive his words home.

“Would you have rather known? Would you have rather faced my feelings? Would you have been flattered that a man found you attractive? That a close friend of yours went home every night and thought of fucking you?”

Junmyeon collides with the door. His face is a mess of disgust and fear. 

“Or are you upset that I don’t look at you anymore? That I found someone who makes me happy, that I don’t need your pity?”

The Adam's apple bobs in Junmyeon’s throat as he scrambles for the doorknob. His chest heaves in a panicked pace. Jongdae revels in it, forcefully taking strength from this sight he once thought would crush him. Junmyeon’s hand finds purchase just in time for Jongdae to shove him out. 

“Go ahead!” he shouts for the whole store to hear. “Sell the building, kick us out, I don't care. Just get the _fuck_ out of my store!”

Junmyeon chances a single fearful glance back as he races from the store at a pace too hurried to be dignified. The whole store stares at him in stunned silence.

Chanyeol comes in through the still open door, his gaze following Junmyeon with a bewildered expression. 

“That banker of yours sure looked spooked!” he says. 

As his adrenalin fades Jongdae’s mind goes blank. A cacophonous buzzing replaces all his thoughts and his vision turns white at the edges. He registers that he is being spoken to eventually, but he can’t make out the words. Something tugs him to the side and he follows it into the dark hallway to the stairs. The buzzing grows faint as the door clicks shut behind them and Baekhyun is standing before him, reaching up to take his face with both hands. 

“What have I done…” Jongdae breathes out. “Baekhyun, the store, I—what have I done?”

“Run away with me,” he pleads. He looks ready to cry. “Run away from this, from Junmyeon, my family, everything. Let’s run away and just be happy, you deserve to be happy for once in your life!” 

Jongdae unconsciously tips forward to meet him as Baekhyun crashes their mouths together, his mind and his heart narrowing in on this one point, this one kiss. The desperate pull of Baekhyun’s lips makes him forget everything but the heat of his touch, the warmth of his love. He’s right, they should just run, just leave everything behind and sink fully into this one instant, this singular desire that overshadows the disaster around them. Jongdae kisses back with everything he has, everything he wants, and then he drops his head to Baekhyun’s shoulder, no longer able to fight back against the tears that have been steadily welling in his eyes.

“I can’t… I can’t abandon everyone, I—”

Baekhyun wraps his arms around his shoulders, enveloping him in a calm warmth.

“Jongdae,” he murmurs into Jongdae’s temple. “They’ll be okay. Every one of these folks can tell you care so much about them, trust me. I’m a part of this community too, they’re my friends too and Jongdae,” he pauses to bring a hand to his cheek, to lift Jongdae’s eyes to meet his. “They all know how much you care about them and _that_ is all they need. All any of us needs is the knowledge that someone cares.”

Jongdae feels like he might drown in how much he cares, for Baekhyun, for everyone. 

“I have to see this through.”

Baekhyun smiles at him.

“I know… I can have the getaway car warmed up and ready,” he offers.

“You say that, but it's my car.”

“Shut up, I'm trying to be here for you!” Baekhyun whines with a slap to his shoulder. 

Jongdae lets himself laugh, lets himself accept that he is not as alone as he always thought.

“I love you,” he says because he finally feels like there’s nothing to be afraid of. “You asked me before what I want. I still don’t know, but I have an idea of how we can find out.”

Baekhyun just grins at him and his eyes shine like they hold every star in the sky. 

\---

Irene takes a seat by the window, the one with the sign board hanging on it, and stares absently out at the street. She had put on a good show during the morning rush, but now that they’re closed for the afternoon she looks lost.

She deserves the rest, truth be told. She did all the heavy lifting this week, closing accounts, finding buyers for their equipment, planning a farewell mixer for their brunch regulars. All that’s left is the actual lifting, which Jongdae and Baekhyun can handle just fine. 

But it doesn’t change the fact that she’s about to lose everything for the second time. 

Jongdae makes her comfort drink, dark roast with chocolate and more milk than coffee. He adds a biscotti and brings it over on the usual tray. Irene smiles at it.

“How you holding up?” Jongdae asks. 

“I really thought I was going to run this store forever, you know?” Irene tells him wistfully, running her fingers along the rim of the cup. “You I would have kicked out if you didn’t leave on your own eventually, but… I liked it. Somewhere along the way it stopped being about atonement and started being about kindness. About this family we’ve made…”

Jongdae takes a seat opposite her and rests his chin in his hands. Even as she mourned the past Irene has always been moving forward. Jongdae was a fool to ever think this shop had been a cage for either of them.

“It suits you, this store. You really made it your own.”

Irene smiles at him briefly, but still she sighs.

“Everyone will be on their own after this. I have to believe what we've managed to accomplish is enough.”

Jongdae reaches across the table to take her hand, but before he can reassure her Chanyeol bulldozes past the closed sign and waltzes into the shop. 

“Good morning my new tenants!” he calls out, his arms thrown wide. “I've bought this building!”

“Wha—” Jongdae tries to ask, but Chanyeol turns to beam at him like it’s the proudest day of his life and the words die in Jongdae’s throat. 

“Paid cash in full up front, this building is all mine!” he assures them. 

“Chanyeol…” Irene says as she reaches for his arm, her voice and her hand shaky in a way she never is.

He gives her hand a firm shake as he takes the third seat between Irene and Jongdae. 

“Well I happened upon the listing, sort of privileged pre-market info, we snatch up properties like this all the time, and I'd recognize this address anywhere and I thought to myself that's—that's my home! That's everyone's home! And since I've got the means to protect it then by god I better do it!”

“But I was gonna…” Jongdae tries again, still trying to catch up. “We were gonna—”

But Chanyeol isn’t listening, he’s already leaning over to Irene and asking, “Can I work here? Should I retire? Can I do that? Retire at 27 and run a quirky coffee shop?” 

Jongdae looks across the room at Baekhyun to find him already staring back, looking as flabbergasted as Jongdae feels. Then a smile breaks out, on both of them, lighting up his face like a dream come true. _His_ dream come true. They're minds are made up but they won’t be running away anymore.

Suddenly, before anyone has a chance to get a word in edgewise, Chanyeol slaps a hand down on the table. 

“Someone call Kyungsoo, I've got to ask him to marry me!”

\---

Baekhyun slips into the passenger seat of the truck and stares straight ahead instead of glancing back at his family home where Jongdae has been parked for the last hour.

“No shotguns,” Jongdae offers. “That’s a pretty good sign.”

“I told them if you’re not welcome, then I’m not welcome.”

That’s all he says. His eyes are red.

Jongdae nods to himself. They both expected this. He puts his hand on Baekhyun’s thigh and squeezes it reassuringly. 

“… We’ll try again when we get back.”

“Yeah…” Baekhyun agrees, then turns to Jongdae with a smile. “Let’s see the world.”

\---

Nestled away between the factories and the banks sits an unassuming coffee shop. It’s nowhere near the city center, but people still come from all across town to try the blend of the week. The owner is known for making wild concoctions and the manager lets him put it on the menu no matter how bad they taste or how expensive they are to make. 

It’s Kyungsoo’s weekend off, but he usually spends it at home with the store. He stands taller lately and smiles more easily. He took to coffee brewing so smoothly you’d think he’d invented it and it's made him very popular among the regulars. Today he’s brought a friend in to show her the store, a friend from his old factory job. She tries to tease Kyungsoo into working on his off day so he can make her a drink, but she takes it back as soon as she sees Irene. Then she insists she won’t take coffee from anyone but her. It’s the first time anyone has seen Irene speechless. 

Minseok smiles and glances back down at the photo he’s been turning over in his hand. It just arrived the day before from some place called Winnipeg. In it Jongdae and Baekhyun are smiling with their arms around each other, sleeves rolled up and dirt on their faces, standing alongside some other dusty men with rakes and hoes. The letter said they’re spending the season working a farm before continuing westward towards the coast. He calls the work grueling, but Jongdae makes everyone coffee, Baekhyun volunteers at the local parish and they both still have to wake up at 5am so it's like they never left.

Jongdae sounds happy. He looks happy. There’s no trace of loneliness in him anymore.

_Welcome to the Sunrise Cafe._

_Here you are among friends._

**Author's Note:**

> [Twitter.](https://twitter.com/ExoMomFriend)


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